Friday, 4 September 2009

On Marriage, and other life sentences; and double dating with Madonna

I'm back.

I actually didn't intend to take such a long break from blogging; but I went on holiday, and found myself in a place with limited internet access. After a couple of days, I discovered that one can actually survive just fine without email/facebook/blog access.

And then I returned to Eretz Yisrael and had the life sucked out of me by the heat, rendering me good for absolutely nothing...

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I've been hitched to Mrs Goy for five years this week. So it seems quite apposite to snark about the new MASA campaign to return errant Jews to the fold, as reported here, here and here yesterday

(Too lazy to look for the obligatory youtube link, but you can find it here - ta to the Religion and State in Israel blog)

My first thought was: Wow, I have so much power - leading people away from the flock, so to speak...

My second was slightly less snarky - let's face it, all religions tend to mark out their territory jealously. Since Judaism does not actively encourage proselytism, I suppose it is incumbent upon the shepherds to keep the sheep from straying too far.

(If I had married in a sanctioned ceremony in the Catholic Church, they may have just about tolerated the notion of me hooking up with a Jewess; but I would have been obliged to promise that I would bring up any issues from our union as Catholic, under threat of excommunication and the eternal damnation of my wretched soul. As if I can force the Small Noisy One to do anything at all...)

Even so, much as I would like to view this advert benignly, there is something discomfiting about the aggressive stance it takes. Convincing Jews to strengthen their ties with Israel is one thing - not necessarily a bad thing either, since Israel could always do with plurality of voices, backgrounds and opinions. Suggesting that those whom intermarry are, ab initio, lost, seems pretty odious. Given that MASA - a state funded operation, I should point out - isn't dominated by the Men in Black, surely it isn't incumbent upon them to define those who chose to marry outside the faith as beyond the pale? Each to their own, I say, and allow the Messiah to sort it out when he arrives...

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You may have heard about a couple of performances in Tel Aviv this week, by a popular songstress and provocateur called Esther...I didn't go. Madonna stopped doing it for me after Papa Don't Preach/True Blue, with the occasional blips of brilliance thereafter only confirming her gradual decline into cliché...

(This probably says much more about how old I am than anything else; it's like asking anyone brought up in England who their favourite Doctor Who is; their answer will almost certainly give you an accurate estimate of their age..)

Anyway, I was...how does one put this? Gobsmacked to read that Ms Ciccione broke bread with both the leader of the opposition as well as Mekon-Head, Bibi Netanyahu himself. Apparently, Tzipporah and spouse went on a double date with Madonna and her grandso...sorry, boyfriend de jour to Stephan Brown on Allenby (nice place, btw) the other night. I wonder what on earth they talked about for an hour. Kabbalah? Proportional representation, as compared to other electoral systems? Tzipi's (admittedly very nice) red Stilettos? Ah, to have been a fly on the wall...

Gideon Levy's polemic in this week's Ha'aretz magazine is helpfully illustrated with other examples of politicians whoring themselves in the name of a good photoshoot. Shim-Shim, the nation's esteemed President, unsurprisingly features prominently; there's a really good picture of Menachem Begin - ever the gentleman - gallantly kissing Liz Taylor's hand (she's wearing a fur coat, btw. In Jerusalem. I'm not sure quite what to make of this). But the best is of Moshe Dayan, bristling testosterone and manliness, charming Maureen O'Hara at a banquet.

Mrs Goy asked who she was; "Oh, some starlet," I said (on reflection, an extremely unfair description, I accept).

"That figures," Mrs Goy replied.

Shabbat Shalom

4 comments:

Aviv said...

Livni: "I love your music!"
Madonna: "I love your politics! You shoulda been PM."
Livni: "I agree."
Madonna: "So how come there isn't any peace?"
Livni: "It's the Arabs' fault. And Bibi's."
Madonna: "Yeah. Bibi sucks. I will let him know on Friday."

Goy said...

lol. Did you see the picture of the gruesome threesome, and Madonna's plaything?

thebookmistress said...

I am a lot less likely to be "lost" because I married a Shagetz than because of how we are treated by "official" Judiasm.

Did you know that nobody in Toronto will preside over a mixed marriage, not even Reform or Reconstructionist or unaffiliated rabbis?

Incidentally, how did you and Mrs get hitched? Cyprus?

Goy said...

We had a registry ceremony in London (we lived there at the time), then a "wedding" - an exchange of rings and vows, officiated over by my sister-in-law - in Israel a couple of weeks later.