Wednesday, 11 March 2009

Sexist - or sexiest?

This is Bar Rafaeli



What can I tell you about her? She's Leonardo DiCaprio's girlfriend. She's from Hod HaSharon - which, I suppose, is as unlikely as Naomi Campbell coming outta Streatham. At the moment, she's probably Israel's most acceptable export.

She is also the star, it seems, of Israel's most sexist advert, courtesy of WIZO.

If, like me, you're a lazy reader, you may misread 'sexist' for 'sexiest'. If you are like me, you would then ignore the appalling syntax that the the use of 'sexiest' would entail and immediately plunge into youtube to locate this gem.

If, like Mrs Goy, you are a feminist firebrand, you'll still go into youtube, albeit just to tut loudly at the chauvinism of the advertisement.

I'm guessing that in any case, you'd want to see the ad. So, putting out of your misery, here it is:



Loose translation of the voiceover - The 'Bar' you'd always want at home: The Mi Eden 'Easy' - easy installation, easy service, easy preparation...(Mi Eden is the name of the campany in whose name this crap was prepared.)

Charming.

PC and advertising do not necessarily go hand in hand in Israel (actually, PC and Israel, generally speaking, do not go hand in hand; but that's another matter altogether...). Consequently, one occasionally gets the outrageous yet undeniably witty creation, like this one for a cable network's HDTV



But more often than not, it's just sleazy crap that does nothing but repel the viewer from the product.

That said, the bigger question for me, is this: What's wrong with tap water?

TTFN

Sunday, 8 March 2009

Tractors

There was an incident in Jerusalem last Thursday.

Why do I use the word 'incident', rather than 'terrorist outrage', perhaps, or 'understandable reaction to the continued oppression...' ?

I'll tell you why. This, from Friday's Ha'aretz:

Jerusalem Mayor Nir Barkat called for the demolition of Raydeh (the driver of the tractor, now deceased)'s home..."It was simply an attack meant to murder innocent people," Barkat said.

Hamas praised the attack, calling it a "natural response" to Israel's demolition of Palestinian homes in Arab East Jerusalem, and to Israel's military operations in the Gaza Strip.

Riyad al-Malki, Information Minister for Palestinian President Mahmoud Abbas's Western-backed government, called the attack a "traffic accident," and demanded an investigation into why the driver had been shot.

One story, three narratives. Take your pick.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Today, my son's Kindergarten have their Purim party. He was so giddy with excitement, he could hardly sleep last night. He went dressed as a Lion, his favourite animal at the moment.

He will return home, his Mishloach Manot tucked under his arm. Following precedent and tradition in the Goy household, I shall relieve him of his burden immediately upon return from Kindergarten, since it obviously isn't healthy for two year olds to gorge themselves on chocolate and the like.

(He'll cry himself to sleep; such is life. Being a parent demands firmness occasionally. But don't fret. He'll have his revenge with one of these beastly objects...



(W/R/T the chocolate, I suspect I'm going to have a tummy ache tomorrow. Again. It happens every year. Will I ever learn?)


Thursday, 5 March 2009

"Tranquila" at the Cameri



"Tranquila", written and directed by Avital Dvory.
On at the Cameri in Tel Aviv on18/3, 23/4 and 10/5.

Worth checking out if one has the opportunity - I saw it at the Akko Festival in 2007, and enjoyed it very much. (If, quite reasonably, you don't trust my taste, I should add that the show won Ms Dvory the "Best Newcomer" prize at the festival.)

Best of all, if one is, as they say, linguistically challenged - as I am - the show relies largely on physical movement, mime and puppetry to communicate its story. Accessible to all...

Tuesday, 3 March 2009

A Confederacy of Dunces

I was avoiding work/doing some online research (take your pick) a couple of nights ago when I came across this.

Basically, it's a briefing by Jerusalem Post journalist Khaled Abu Toameh for a bunch of reprobates brought on a junket (I editorialise somewhat, you may gather) to Israel by the American Jewish Congress a while ago. It's very long, but really worth reading in its entirety.

One surmises that Abu Toameh doesn't think that Israelis and Palestinians will be dancing the Hora together very soon...

(Ignore the Portuguese bit at the top of the post - I don't know what that's about either. But since I am nicking the fellow's content, I should at least be polite and say thank you)

Sunday, 1 March 2009

Barack O-Bamba


This is a packet of Bamba. Bamba, for the uninitiated, is a peanut butter-flavoured snack, much beloved of small children across Eretz Israel. If you're British, think Wotsits with more Peanut and less Cheese.

(The Small Noisy One, if allowed, would eat Bamba morning noon and night. He would also take a packet to bed with him, along with his guitar. But that's another matter altogether)









.
This is Barack Obama, 44th President of the United States of America. You may have heard a bit about him recently.



So, what's the connection between the leader of the free world and a bag of crisps? According to an acquaintance, a small child of six or seven had heard a lot of talk about the new president of the United States, and was curious enough to want to know more. So she approached her mother and asks:

Ima, tigidi li al ha Adon Barack Obamba - Mum, please tell me about this Mr Barack Obamba.

I like it :-)


I moved to Israel two years ago today. Time flies when one is having fun, no?

Saturday, 28 February 2009

Harry Potter and the Protocols of Zion

Living in this part of the world, it becomes very easy to slide into a partisan appreciation of the problems between Israel and the next door neighbours. Broadly speaking, I lean to the left; I can't say that I'll be the biggest fan of the incoming Israeli government, for instance.

That said, a half hour reading some of the more, shall we say inspired talkbacks on the Guardian website does wonders for restoring the natural balance; reinforcing the natural scepticism that comes from the suspicion/knowledge that pretty everyone with a vested opinion is blowing hot air out of their bottoms when it comes to the Middle East.

This delightful video below performs much the same function. The thing is, I thought it was a glorious send-up at first. Apparently not. Try to watch with a straight face ;-)





Tuesday, 24 February 2009

Land for Peace

In today's Ha'aretz, quotes from an interview between Bahrain's Crown Prince, Sheikh Salman Bin Hamad Bin Isa Al-Khalifa, and British Television's Sky News.

This bit caught my attention:

The Crown Prince said Britain should work with moderates in the region and avoid adding fuel to extremists' fire.

"Work with the moderates in this part of the world, to work for peace, prosperity and stability," he said.

To settle the Israeli-Palestinian conflict, "you give up land for peace," he said. "Land that you haven't already built on. It can't be simpler."
(Italics mine)

It may not be the fairest solution, but it's certainly the most pragmatic. But in the meantime, the hardliners continue to conduct the orchestras, pushing any hope of any resolution without extreme violence further and further away...